Coming out is hard.
That’s an understatement.
But for lack of a better description: coming out is really hard.
There are people that I can come out to with pretty much any self-realization without feeling like it could potentially be an immediate mistake, but those people are few.
Nearly a year ago, I came out as bisexual on social media.
I came out at a time when I was fairly isolated from everyone. The majority of friends that I’ve kept in contact with from when I was young live in other states. I was working at a temporary job at the time, due to decreased seasonal hour availability, so I was not seeing the coworkers I was friendly with on a daily basis.
My logic, in part, was that an announcement online would cover more ground, so to speak – it would be easier than several smaller conversations with individuals. Also, I perceived coming out online as safer. I suspected that there would be people who took issue, and the forum could potentially give me the opportunity to suss them out before encountering them physically.
For the most part, it worked out well. It’s easy to imagine that I could employ the same model to come out as a trans male. I’m honestly not sure what the hold up is.
I’m fine shouting “this is how I love” at pretty much anyone, but when I try to say, “this is who I am”, it’s with a smaller voice – less confident, and for all of the thought I’ve put into it, I have no idea why.
In a community generally full of positivity proclaiming, “you are trans enough”, I still feel strikingly inadequate. In a cisnormative society, I feel like a persona non grata.
It’s left me feeling hollow and insincere. Again, I am passing by omission. Again, I am not representing a community I feel a part of to blend into a community I feel a part from. Again, I feel the need to come out, but how should I do it?